I am pleased to announce that the War on Christmas has turned the corner. It turns out that we have a lot in common with Santa. He has been a constant source of irritation for those that would want less commercialism at Christmastime. We have found common ground with him and have forged a treaty with the “Northern Alliance.” We feel that with his global reach and advanced technology, Christmas should fall by the end of the month.
Santa has already agreed to change his signature “Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night” to a more pleasing “Happy Holidays to all and to all a good night.”
As part of the agreement, we will push for “Silver Bells” to replace “Away in the Manger” at all caroling events.